You Reported Abuse, What’s Next?
Several years after the crimes occurred, I sought help from my therapist, to guide me in the direction of legal reporting of the crimes. What followed resulted in a turbulent storm of events, like peering through a gate that divides the cliffs from the sea. The statute of limitations for reporting had expired. When I heard the bad news, it felt like I fell over a cliff. However, my husband and my determination to confront and stop the perpetrator who harmed me obliterated the discouragement and inspired us to find other legal and safe options to expose his destructive behavior. And we found a way. You can read more about how we participated in the arrest of the perpetrator, in my memoir, Alligator in the Ocean, One Family’s Fight to Stop a Serial Predator and Their Determination to Heal.
Overcoming Discouragement in the Healing Process
You will experience discouragement as you invest efforts in getting help. Don’t let discouragement stop you. I found victory each step I took and each challenge I overcame. You can too. Call and talk with several counselors until you find one with whom you feel comfortable. I prepared several questions about therapeutic techniques used, I listened to the sounds of their voices and assessed if they displayed patience with my concerns. There are many options for you to consider online, by phone, or in person. These links offer both English and Spanish-speaking options. Type in your zip code in the box provided. If you don’t know your zip code, click here, and type in your town or city in the box provided. You will find, support groups, online and phone services as well as hotlines.
Keep Moving Forward
You are unique and different from me and the every person on earth, however we share similar hardships and my hope for you is that you find a way to heal and live a stronger, wiser, happier life knowing you were created by a loving Creator and living God. A Creator not measured by the hardship we experience in this world.
Wrap yourself in hope that healing is possible. Persevere and know that discouragement is an experience you may face every day and still find peace. In the Bible, John chapter 14 reminds us, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” Peace is available to experience every day, which encourages contentment and joy. I learned that being imprisoned with discouragement is a choice. Choose to be encouraged. Keep moving forward. Ask those hotline helpers for options. If you feel you’re not being heard.
Be safe. Your safety is the most valuable extension of love you can give to yourself.
A Message to friends and families of Victims
Spouses, parents, and caregivers, you are a lifeline of encouragement and hope, if you adapt your lives alongside the child who is a victim of maltreatment. It takes time to heal. And as healing happens, your lives can be transformed too as you watch your loved one move away from the traumatic event and toward a life where laughter is embraced, rest is within reach, motivation to mend isn’t like moving a mountain, trust is restored through wiser eyes, and life ahead is more of an adventure than a death march.
My Hope And Prayer
My hope and prayer for you, victims of crime and your families:
”For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” - Ephesians 3:14-21
Additional Resources
Alligator in the Ocean Help for Victims
Be Brave. Be Safe. Persevere.
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